Harley’s Passionate Crime (***New HarleyQuinn Fan Fiction***

Omnibus in foro S.P.D.

I understand this some pretty bold writing done here.  However its been ten months since my last Fan Fiction.  I hope all my readers enjoy the story.


Bone Mama Belle (Harleygrimm)

Disclaimer: I own nothing and no one. All characters, places, etc, in here are not mine and I don’t profit. All that’s mine is the plot of this particular  story.

Harley’s Passionate Crime 10/08/2015

“There are no happy endings. There are only happy deaths.”  The HarleyQuinn squealed.

This left Commissioner Gordon and notable famed psychiatrist Dr. Leland to sit in unhindered silence, as they along with several criminal detectives tried to take on a impossible task.  They were set with the task of obtaining the confession of Dr. Harleen Frances Quinzel.  The confession itself was of special importance for she had committed no ordinary crime.  The murder of the century committed right in the dark deep depths of Gotham City.

The death of the villainous, psychopathic, immoral, the Clown Prince once known as “The Joker”.  Murdered by the hands of his number one henchmen, well henchwoman, his long time love, and clown doll the equally evil HarleyQuinn.  It was something that could not be fathomed. For anyone that followed the history of Dr. Quinzel her “Love” for the Joker or rather obsession was famous. The Joker dead by his HarleyQuinn?  The unbelievable just became the conceivable. Somewhere Batman and Robin were cheering.

The Commissioner decided it was best to let the Doctor ask the probing questions.  For out of everyone who had gathered to bear witness, it was the Doctor who knew her best.  As the Doctor seemed nonchalant as to what had to taken place.  Displaying some nerves of steel yes it was the right decision to let the Doctor take the reigns. Its what the Commissioner liked about Joan Leland, she pulled no punches like ever.

“So why did you kill him Harleen?”

For a brief span of time of what seemed forever there was a moment of uncomfortable silence.  Harley’s blood-shot eyes cast a deadly glare at the stone-like face of the Doctor. When Harley displayed that she would  not budge in giving information. Surprisingly Dr. Leland took a very deep sigh as she looked at her on and off again patient.

“Why did you kill him Harley?” Dr. Leland asked with genuine interest.

“Because I was an option.  Not a priority.” Harley finally answered.

When the HarleyQuinn made the phone call to the police.  It was dismissed as a silly prank call.  Just Harley and her usual bag o’ tricks.  No one had bothered to believe her. When she arrived completely disheveled and covered in blood. A mixed feeling of mayhaps someone had gotten hurt but certainly not The Joker.  As they now took her confession even now the struggle  to accept it seemed unreal.

That’s when they summoned the “Madam of Arkham” one Dr. Joan Leland.  The psychiatrist and former colleague of the beautiful girl once known as Harleen Quinzel.  It was only she who had been able to calm Harley’s screaming, soothed her rage, to tame the storm at least enough to extract this most priceless confession.

Dr. Leland still the grave face who did superbly at showing no emotion.  Began making her own notes as Harley rambled.  Rantings, ravings, she tore at her hair, at her face, and then finally she calmed down again.  It was as if Harley did not realize just exactly where she was and snapped back into reality. The Commissioner and the others began to shift and lean closer like panting dogs being handed a delicious bone. Dr. Leland gave a cautious glance to the Commissioner if only she could say what she really was thinking.

“Surely there is more to it than that Harley.”  Dr. Leland said carefully.

“Of course there is more to it Doc.  Bottom line is I got fed up.  Tired of always being number two.”

“Funny it always seemed you were his number one.”  The Commissioner said only to himself.

“Nothing I ever did made him happy.  Because we couldn’t kill Batman, never enough crimes getting committed.  Too much time getting locked up in Arkham.  There was something always wrong.  Only time I pleased him is when I fucked him.  And nobody can fuck the Joker like I can.” Harley broke into tears.

She spoke of him as if he were still alive.  Did she even realize that she killed him?  And just because HarleyQuinn had started crying giving the angle of the “Scorned Woman”.  Did not mean all that could be forgiven.  No matter how heinous The Joker was, he was still a citizen of Gotham, and justice had to be sought the cruelest of ironies. Nor did Dr. Leland give up the inquisition.

“Why didn’t you just leave him Harley?  If you were truly that unhappy?”

“Because I tried to leave him Doc.  Which you know about.  Remember all those times I spent on your couch? When you drugged me up to get me to kiss and tell?  Surely you remember.  I certainly do.  I left him over and over, yet I always came back though.  Because I loved him, don’t you see that?  I loved my Puddin I really did.    But if you love something Doc you set them free.”  HarleyQuinn continued to bawl.

“Yes. You murder them.”  Commissioner Gordon mumbled.

Feral as she is Harley’s head snapped up and shot the Commissioner a scathing look.  Which caused everyone to look at him. Even the rookie detectives looked taken aback.  As if he had done the crime instead of the crying woman sitting in the interrogation room.

“Don’t you judge me Commish, I see you over there!” Harley spat.

“You see me but what can you do?  You are surrounded by officers.  You can try but you won’t get very far except dead just like The Joker. I do not judge you Harley, that will be left up to the judge and jury made up of the good citizens of Gotham. The very people you victimize and harm on a daily basis.  Think about it Miss. Quinzel they are now getting a chance to judge you.”

Wide eyed and even Harley’s bottom lip quivered. As she whined loudly. “Judge? Jury?”

“Of your own peers and no not those peers.  Not the ones you are thinking of.”  Commissioner Gordon pointed out.

Although having the Joker’s Harley face a group of her peers.  Would be something interesting to see- Poison Ivy would vote for her to be spared.  The Commissioner  felt the others would be a bag of mixed nuts.  The Joker and HarleyQuinn had pissed off many of their fellow criminals..

Yet still he had to wonder the catalyst the death of The Joker would bring. He had been Gotham’s biggest problem.  Would the other insane criminals simply back off? A reduction in crime? Would suddenly Gotham’s finest be out of a job soon? No need for a Batman? These were questions that burned in the mind of the Commissioner Gordon, for what HarleyQuinn did brought consequences not just to her but for many others as well. Suddenly the demise of The Joker seemed not so good.  In the end what if HarleyQuinn may not have done the city of Gotham a favor by doing what others could not?

While HarleyQuinn screamed in emotional distress.  Dr. Leland gave the signal that this interrogation session had now come to an end.  It was clearly obvious that HarleyQuinn may not be able to continue on.  She had given enough to damn herself during the process.  It finally registered to her what she had truly done.  She murdered the one and only love of her life.  Could you call what she did an “Act of Passion”?  Whatever pushed her over the edge the world may never know save only The Joker himself.  You just never knew with HarleyQuinn she was just that insane.

The Commissioner felt a pang of sympathy for the mad Doctor.  Harleen Frances Quinzel just booked herself a one-way ticket to the Insane Asylum for the Criminally Insane known as “Arkham”.  Where she would mourn her “Puddin” for the rest of her days locked away in a padded room.

The death of The Joker, the death of a criminal era.


©2015 T.B. Morte


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